Jul. 21st, 2006 09:37 am
Blerghity blergh blergh blergh!
oh man. Could someone just remove my entire digestive tract, right now? I'd greatly appreciate it!
We were doing "Summer Sweep" in the office yesterday, also known as "Get rid of all the free shit you've accumulated but are never going to take home" day. Part of having this event involved the cafeteria giving out free lunches. Apparently, the hamburger I had did NOT agree with me in any way, shape, or form. I was okay for a few hours after eating, then I noticed I was still tasting the burger on my breath about four hours later. Didn't think anything of it, came home, had some dinner (lasagna).
Then my stomach sprang into action.
It had apparently been waiting for me to add something that actually cost me money to it before turning into a writhing, cramping mass of WTF on me. I had some water and then went and laid down. By around 9:00, I was in severe pain, and
satyr_mi opted to go to the store to get me some Pepto as we were all out. He came home with it, I was barely lucid. I did manage to think of going into the bathroom before taking it. See, Pepto and I have this weird relationship. It'll be all nice and normal to me if I just have a bit of indigestion. Anything beyond that?
I had already had massive diahrrea all night. As in, I'd sit down, and the contents of the Mississippi would eject themselves from my bowels. Apparently, taking Pepto caused my stomach to pull a Linda Blair...
I projectile vomited the entire contents of my stomach. Mostly into the toilet, although some of it wound up on the wall, the shower curtain, and the floor. My first thought was "OMG THERE'S BLOOD IN IT!" and then I remembered that dinner had been lasagna, so it was really just tomato sauce. Three power-sprays of chunky goodness to the toilet later and I was done. Spent 20 minutes or so making the bathroom not look like a crime scene.
After all that, I tried to sleep. I took some more pepto, drank lots of water, had half a slice of bread, and proceeded to sleep fitfully all night, getting up every two hours or so to go to the bathroom. I had a slice of bread when I got up this morning and I've had a ton of water. And some Tums. I'm just freaking exhausted because I have had virtually no sleep.
Well, enough of that. I'm off to see how long I can sit in front of a computer before I pass out this morning.
We were doing "Summer Sweep" in the office yesterday, also known as "Get rid of all the free shit you've accumulated but are never going to take home" day. Part of having this event involved the cafeteria giving out free lunches. Apparently, the hamburger I had did NOT agree with me in any way, shape, or form. I was okay for a few hours after eating, then I noticed I was still tasting the burger on my breath about four hours later. Didn't think anything of it, came home, had some dinner (lasagna).
Then my stomach sprang into action.
It had apparently been waiting for me to add something that actually cost me money to it before turning into a writhing, cramping mass of WTF on me. I had some water and then went and laid down. By around 9:00, I was in severe pain, and
I had already had massive diahrrea all night. As in, I'd sit down, and the contents of the Mississippi would eject themselves from my bowels. Apparently, taking Pepto caused my stomach to pull a Linda Blair...
I projectile vomited the entire contents of my stomach. Mostly into the toilet, although some of it wound up on the wall, the shower curtain, and the floor. My first thought was "OMG THERE'S BLOOD IN IT!" and then I remembered that dinner had been lasagna, so it was really just tomato sauce. Three power-sprays of chunky goodness to the toilet later and I was done. Spent 20 minutes or so making the bathroom not look like a crime scene.
After all that, I tried to sleep. I took some more pepto, drank lots of water, had half a slice of bread, and proceeded to sleep fitfully all night, getting up every two hours or so to go to the bathroom. I had a slice of bread when I got up this morning and I've had a ton of water. And some Tums. I'm just freaking exhausted because I have had virtually no sleep.
Well, enough of that. I'm off to see how long I can sit in front of a computer before I pass out this morning.
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Anyway: "Get rid of all the free shit you've accumulated but are never going to take home" day == classic.
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I hope you feel better soon.
Please tell me you stayed home today.
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Bad Husband! Bad!!
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*whimpers*
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God that woman terrifies me...
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BAD!
I'd wish harm to you, but I suspect the cafeteria has already done that to ya. Feel better soon, monkey. I missed my druid.
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*BUG BEAR HUGZ*
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