Feb. 25th, 2026 02:00 pm

The Labor of Love

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Sure, you could go with rubber duckies and baby blocks, but that's sooo last decade. Today's shower cakes are all about the biology of baby-making: tasty and educational!

 

And while you're at it, why not congratulate dad, too?

 

Of course, mom also did her part:

Whoah, whoah, whoah! TMI, Dad, TMI!

 

You could even illustrate the whole process with the aid of disturbing plant analogies:

Raise your hand if you're going to have nightmares about daisies sprouting Alien-style from your midsection tonight. Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Alrighty, then.

 

Granted, the process doesn't always start exactly the same way:

Thank goodness that cup is labeled. Otherwise, we'd have some concerned coffee drinkers on our hands right about now.

 

And what does all this love math equal?

(No, your eyes do not deceive you: that IS a Fetal Bite cookie in that there uterus cake. Excellent.)

 

And that brings us to the Big, Life-Changing Moment!

AAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!

 

Yep, I'm changed for life.

 

Casey D., Heidi D., Hillary M., Kristin J., Jess, Shari W., & Tiffany D., when you're ready to have "the talk" with your kids, feel free to come back here for visual aids.

*****

This book has over 2,000 5-star reviews and looks absolutely hysterical, definitely bookmark it for the new parents in your life:

How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Feb. 24th, 2026 02:00 pm

Face, Meet Palm

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by john (the hubby of Jen)

 
 
 
 

 

Thanks to Ellen K., Kathryn E., Julie V., Louise H., Alexander O., Jessica D., and Lauren H. for today's self-confidence booster.

*****

P.S. My "related searches" kind of got away from me today, but I think you'll approve:

"Hiss" Punny Cats Parody T-Shirt

Lots more colors and shirt styles available at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Feb. 24th, 2026 12:30 am

Birdfeeding

ysabetwordsmith: A bird singing (Birdfeeding)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith posting in [site community profile] dw_community_promo
[community profile] birdfeeding is a community started on January 1, 2023. It's all about birdfeeding, birdwatching, and other topics relating to birds. It also touches on nature in general, and observations that may effect bird activity such as local weather. Both text and image posts are welcome. Now is a great time to join as hungry birds are easy to attract with a feeder.

Community resources include posts about birding events, nurseries that sell seeds or plants attractive to birds, bird identification apps, the benefits of birdwatching, and other useful materials. Check out the anchor posts from Three Weeks for Dreamwidth.


Recent posts:

Sighting a Siberian Superstar: Local birder secures rare red-flanked bluetail for life list

Homes for Birds Week

Photos: House Yard and South Lot

Photos: Flowerbeds

Bird blizzard
Tags:
Feb. 23rd, 2026 02:00 pm

10 Wildly Inappropriate Come-On Cakes

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

NOTE: No, really, these are wildly inappropriate. Not safe for kids! (Work should be fine, though.)

And now...

10 Wildly Inappropriate Pick-Up Lines
for International Flirting Week

 

Looking for love this month? Then why not try baiting your love hook (ew) with cake?

Punny and to the point. Best of all: No horsing around!

 

Admittedly, this will only work for half of you.

 

If you don't have access to cake, you could always write up one of those cute "love coupons."

So many jokes, so many relatives reading this blog.
(Hi, Mom!)

 

Just remember to keep it clean.

Awwww YEAH. Good times, indeed.

 

Maybe you don't want your cake to do all the talking, though. Maybe you just want it to be more of a conversation starter. You know, like this:

"You down with it?" [eyebrow waggle]

 

"Who likes oysters?!"

 

"Welcome... TO THE GUN SHOW."

 

Or if you really want to impress, try a quick serenade:

[singing]

"Oh let me be... YOUR TEDDY BEAR."

Mrowr.

 

And as a last resort, remember: sometimes bribery can work wonders.

"FREE MUSTACHE RI.. [noticing children in the room]... er ... slices!"

"And hey, just so you know: I come with free balloons."

o.0

Clean-up on aisle MY MIND, please. [shudder]

 

Thanks to Allison H., Cortney K., Michelle M., JM, Lauren E., Johnny D., Rosebud, Lara K., Lauren G., & Cat for the pick-me-ups.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Feb. 22nd, 2026 02:00 pm

Goodness Gray-tious

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Lindsey

 Unless you've been living under a totally unfashionable rock, you are well aware that gray is one of the hottest trends in Trendville right now.

By Yummy Cupcakes and Cakes

Less harsh than black, more ketchup-friendly than white, it's everywhere in the worlds of fashion, saucy literature, and decor. And of course...

By Wild Orchid Bakery

...Cake! This one combines two hot and happening trends: gray and ombre. Plus polka-dots, which will never go out of style.

 

Let's hope gray doesn't, either, because pretty much my entire house is painted gray. Some people might think that sounds depressing, but just look at this cake:

By Charm City Cakes West  Inspired by Nevie-Pie Cakes

Depressing? I think not! Gray is the perfect backdrop for a pop of color, which I love, unlike the phrase "pop of color" which, ugh.

 

But don't worry, colorphobes, gray and white make a fine duo, too.

By Bee's Cake Design

Sophisticated, simple and sublime.

 

And just think how much detail would have been lost on this cake if it had been white instead of gray.

By Cotton and Crumbs

Would we have even noticed the lacy border? The delicate butterflies? Gray deserves an award for best supporting hue.

 

BUT! Gray ain't afraid to steal the spotlight.
"This girl belongs on a runway," was my first thought when I saw this cake.

By Karla

Then I learned that it was modeled after a Vera Wang gown, and I felt totally smart and stylish for a second. Then I looked down at my ensemble of mismatched sweats and slowly lowered my hands from their 'raise the roof' position.

 

But can I get a "holla" for these cakes?

By Erica OBrien

So sweet and modern at the same time. I just love gray and pink together, and that little cluster of roses in the center, too.

 

I'm also loving the color scheme on this cake. Freaking adorable. Seriously considering turning it into an accessory somehow.

By Bobbette and Belle

Cake hat? Cake purse? Cake belt buckle? I'll keep thinking.

 

And here's another one I just want to tear apart and wear!

By Three Little Blackbirds Cakes

Once again, gray adds texture and interest while letting the color shine. Gray: the nicest of neutrals.
That should be its official motto.

 

But why am I trying to convert you to the Church of Gray? You're probably already a card carrying member.

By Sugar Couture

And if you weren't before, you are now, because WOWZERS. And the little touches of metallics? Swoonballoons.

 

There is so much awesome happening on this cake, but I think the gray tier is still my favorite.

By Gateaux Inc.

I mean, it even matches the reception hall! 

 

And here's one last gray-hued beauty for our grand finale:

By Over the Top Cakes

Isn't it great how all the ribbon and fabric look like actual ribbon and fabric? Just amazing.

I sure hope you enjoyed today's gorgeous gray gateaux and that your Sunday is especially sweet!

******

P.S. I was browsing "gray whale" things to link today - because whales are awesome -but then this blue whale butter dish popped up and it's so stinkin' cute you get it instead:

Whale Ceramic Butter Dish

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Feb. 20th, 2026 02:00 pm

Write 'Em, Cowboys!

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Hey guys, it's time again for our Annual Texas Cowboy Poetry post!

(My apologies in advance to Texas, cowboys, and poetry in general.)

 

Ahem hem hem.

swirling poo vortex
moistly encircles my horse

keep it off the boots.

******

 

There once was a rodeo clown
The best of the whole bunch, hands down.

 

A real Texas Star

 

He's sure to go far

If he'd just stop horsing aroun'.

*****

 

Dangle the Dog's show had to close
The problem? Right under his nose.
Since it's hard to erase
the things on his face...

Now he just does puppet shows.

****

 

Kill.
Kill, kill, kill
KILL!
Killllllllllll....

Kill kill.

*********

 

And for our grand finale, we'd like you to know that John wrote the next one. That's right, JOHN DID IT. So it's not my or Sharyn's fault. We're just saying.

Take it away, John!

 

Once upon a morning dreary, while I sat there, drinking beery,
Thinkin' 'bout this girl I'd ogled at the game the night before.
How we went back to her trailer, thinkin' I was gonna... uh, regale her
Shame she fell into the baler, just below the hayloft door.
"Geez Louise!" I screamed in terror as her bits lay on the floor.
"Now she's boobs... and nothing more!"


Thanks to Jodee R., Erica D., Tug T., Samantha R., Kristen, Emily S., & Willow M. for helping John get that off his chest.

*****

P.S. I see you appreciate poetry. Might I recommend...?

I Could Pee On This, And Other Poems By Cats

This hardcover gift book costs less than $10 and will have your friends feline fine.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Feb. 19th, 2026 02:00 pm

The All-Male Wreck Review

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

[Note: Mildly risque jokes & images ahead. And one banana hammock.]

We all live in fear of an embarrassing photo popping up on Facebook, but it turns out there's an even WORSE place for those best-forgotten candids to turn up:

Your birthday cake.

(And, ok, yeah -  then on an internationally-known blog about bad cakes, but still.)

 

I used to think edible photos were the worst invention since the Steering Wheel Desk, but that was before I realized their true purpose:

Humiliating drunk guys who take their clothes off.

 

 Yep, edible images are the best thing to happen to passive-aggression since the Post-It note. How else can you get back at the guy who showed up early, drank all the Zima, and then passed out in your mom's favorite arm chair and peed himself?

Remember, revenge is a dish best served iced - and there is a lot of icing...IN CAKE.

 

I would comment on the misspellings, but it's hard to concentrate with big nipples staring you in the face.

Which I guess explains why employers block so much of the Internet at work, huh? 

(HEYO.)

 

 Of course, not all guys need alcohol to get a little frisky in front of the camera:

Must. Not. Make. "Horny." Joke...

And once you hit your ninety-something-th birthday, I know exactly what you want to see:

Not bad, not bad...but can we get some kind of a wild cat in here? And maybe a mullet?

Purrrfect.

I feel like we're straying off the drunken path, though. See, what we *really* need is something with a clown wig, a little Crisco, and a HUGE...

...oh. Rats.

Ok, never mind.

 

Thanks to Angie B., Kimberly E., Julie C., Christy M., Stacey H., Sarah T., Katherine M. & Aaron for the full Monte Crisco. It was delicious.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Feb. 18th, 2026 02:00 pm

With Apologies to Julie Andrews

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

♫ Bulbous-nosed witches who probably eat kittens


Messages piped out that should be rewritten

(Supposed to read "Congratulations Wojtek From Thunder Road")

 

Cakes decorated with smeared silly string

Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!

Is that a tongue sticking out of that poodle?


Were they attempting to make ersatz noodles?


"Congradulations" with Doritos rings

Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!

 

Plumber's jeans that don't quite cover their "assets"


Creepy-faced smiley with too-thick eyelashes


Harry and Gollum and wands holding rings

Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!

 

Though these dogs might

Be all frosting

 Though these cakes are bad!

I simply remember these wreckiest things

And then I just can't

Feel sad! ♪

 

 BIG thanks to Katie G., Victoria L., J.R., Vanessa M., Lisa H., Pete Z., Andrea G., Darla H., Becca T., Rachel L., and J.C.  You know you're my favorites, right?

*****

P.S. If you're going to wear an Easter tee this year, THIS IS THE WAY:

Star Wars Grogu Easter T-Shirt

This one's the child's size, but it also comes in adult sizes and tons more colors.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

yourlibrarian: MMMC Icon Reverse Colors (OTH-MMMC Icon Reverse-yourlibrarian)
[personal profile] yourlibrarian posting in [site community profile] dw_community_promo
March Meta Matters Challenge banner by thenewbuzzwuzz


March 1 is just weeks away, so that means the kickoff to this year's March Meta Matters Challenge will be taking place soon! The challenge involves locating and copying over meta you've created to a second site in order to ensure its preservation, plus there will be some prompts for creating new meta.

Feel free to ask questions here about the challenge, locations, etc. Otherwise subscribe to [community profile] marchmetamatterschallenge and look for our opening post on March 1!
Feb. 17th, 2026 02:00 pm

Like, Whatever

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Sharyn

Transcript of the actual conversation of the Loud Girl talking on her phone in the next booth last night at dinner...

"So, like, I was at work today, and my boss Bob comes up to me, y'know, and he's all like,

"Did you finish that project I gave you last week?"

"And I, like, totally forgot about it, so I'm thinking, like,

But I don't say that. I'm all

And he's just, y'know, looking at me, so I say

And he just stands there, so I go

 

And he rolls his eyes and looks at me, and he says,

I know.

And I say, what, like you never missed a deadline? Oh, I know, that's cuz

right, Bob?

 

And I'm getting, like, totally pissed that he thinks he can treat me like that, so I'm just all,

and I walked out.

 

Yeah, I know! Good for me!

Now I'm like

I didn't want to be a lawyer anyway."

 

Really, like, epic thanks to Sheryl L., Ellen B., Lexi R., Katherine B., Sam B., Allison W., Amy O., Bruce T., Julia R., and Laura D. I love you guys. You really get me.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Feb. 16th, 2026 02:00 pm

Wedding Is Believing

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

You all know we have a "professional cakes only" policy here at CW, but when it comes to wedding cakes that can be a tough call. See, apparently most of you wreckporters feel a little awkward accosting the bride and demanding to know if her baker actually considers himself a professional. (Cowards.)

So, today, I'll let you guys decide. These really are all wedding cakes served at actual weddings, and in many cases the photographers claim to believe the baker was paid. For your sanity, though, you may want to go on believing someone's Aunt Sally made them as a last-minute "favor."

Needs more rose petals.

 

Is that...meat? And more importantly: if your cake looks like a giant meat slab, wouldn't you think about maybe slapping some frosting over that sucker?

 

Aw, now that's a shame; if only they had a few more bunches of fake flowers you wouldn't have to see the cake and tinfoil at ALL.

 

Does anyone else get the feeling this should be rotating and spraying water out of the swan's mouths?

 

And speaking of water...

Mmm. Wet tissue paper.

 

Proof that there aren't enough gaussian blurs and hazy vignettes in the world to make a wreck look like a Sweet.

See?

(P.S. OH. MAH. GAWD.)

 

Thanks to Heather H., Michele T., Connie P., AG, Samantha B., Allli B., Jessica H., Zoe H., & Skye C., for providing nightmare fuel for future brides everywhere.

 

PS. Believe it or not, I actually DID wean out a few that were even worse than these, because, for example, the baker put the wedding cake on a rusty pie plate:

So I'm REALLY hoping that means it's homemade.

Still, the important thing to remember is that THIS IS A WEDDING CAKE.

And hey, put it on a regular cake board and I've totally seen worse.

*****

P.S. In the spirit of continued learning and broadening our horizons, I found you some take-home reading:

What If? Serious Scientific Answers To Absurd Hypothetical Questions
******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Feb. 15th, 2026 02:00 pm

Sunday Sweets: Be My Valentine

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Ahhh, love is in the air, my friends! Can you smell it? It's kind of a mix of roses and chocolate and really gigantic cupcakes:

By Cakes by M3

 Mmmm. Lovely.

 

Or, if you prefer more traditional red roses:

By Nicky Grant

 Actually, I guess these aren't quite traditional, since they're made of sugar. That makes them superior to real roses, though, because they'll never wilt, they don't have thorns, and, of course, they're the best kind to carry in your teeth while doing the Tango. (NOMZ)

Plus, look at the shine on that chocolate! Wowza!

 

Speaking of chocolate, doesn't it look great with baby pink?

By Sarah Louise Cakes

And all that piping! Sarah has a seriously steady hand.

 

This cutie-pie first birthday cake may have the most perfect edible bow EVER:

By Cakes by Dusty

I can't decide which I want to do more: wear it in my hair or eat it. :D

 

But if a whole cake is too much for you, then how about a few elegantly iced cookies?

By My Little Bakery

Every time I look at this, I pick a new favorite. First it was the cross-stiched heart with the lace trim. Then the swirly heart on the lower left. But now I just spotted the brush embroidery on that winged heart back there, ooh! And look at the little heart next to it with the intricate scrolly bits!

 

Now here's a funky cool modern design:

By Choice Cakes

 The structure of this cake fascinates me, and the lilies are totally playing tricks on my eyes: are the ones on the cakes painted or 3D? The center stamen *look* 3D, but I can't tell!

 

This is just about the sweetest, cheeriest bouquet you could ever ask for:

By Crowning Cakes

I would hang a picture of this cake on my wall in a fun scrolly picture frame just so I can stare at it and smile all day. It's that cheerful.

 

And, what's this? ANOTHER perfect bow?

By macesicnada

WOW. And I'm digging all the scrolly details inside the hearts - and those little heart buttons! Ack! SO CUTE.

 

And look at this red, white, and black beauty:

By Torte di nadia

So many great techniques here: the lace trim, the tufted quilting, the dripping streamers...!! I don't just love this cake; I am IN LOVE with this cake.

 

And I'm over the moon for this fabulous design featuring Cupid's bow and arrow:

By Precious Taarten

I suddenly want to see Katniss Everdeen dressed up as Cupid. Hee! Except, wait...Cupid doesn't wear anything, does he? Whoah, that got awkward fast. NEVER MIND.

 

And finally, I think it's only fitting to end with a LOVE-themed wedding cake, don't you?

By nice icing

SO SWEET. From the old-style typography to the blue birds to the double heart topper to those colors, I am completely smitten!

Hope you guys are, too - if only with this cakes! - and that you have a wonderful Valentine's Day!

*****

P.S. Anyone want to bring vintage style pins back? Because this entire set of 7 lovelies is only $12:

7 Pc Women's Brooch Set

OooOOOooh. I think the owl is my favorite. And the peacock. And the dragonfly.

Feb. 13th, 2026 02:00 pm

PERILOUS PERIL

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

It's Friday the 13th, and wreckerators are up to their old tricks:

 Cakes that stare:

Cakes that WOULD stare if they had a face:

Menacing snowman heads playing golf:

(I think?)

Gratuitous use of berry topping:

(Is that a number 3 or a heart? And why does it scare me either way?)

Alarming cakes for 6-year-olds:

(When I was 6 I liked Winnie-the-Pooh, is all I'm saying.)

And of course, HORSE HEADS FOR EVERYONE.

You get a creepy horse head, and YOU get a creepy horse head, EVERYBODY GETS A CREEPY HORSE HEEEEAD!!

Happy Friday the 13th, y'all. Watch out for suspiciously large bakery boxes, k?

And thanks to Roberta, Danielle M., Karen M., Katie N., Anna B., & Maja V. for being the only neigh-sayer.

P.S. I feel duty-bound to inform you that these are less than $13 on Amazon:

Creepy Horse Head Mask

Do with this information what you will. :D

Feb. 12th, 2026 02:00 pm

Reading Between The Wrecks

[syndicated profile] cakewrecks_feed

Posted by Jen

Chocolates? Flowers? Cutesy stuffed animals?

BO-RING.

This Valentine's day, give me something a little out-of-the-ordinary! Something a little daring!  Something a little...um...

...crappy? 

 (Remember, the couple that leaves flaming bags of poo on doorsteps together, STAYS together.)

 

I'm getting kind of a mixed message here.

 

Ok, now it's less mixed.

 

Hang on. So you're saying you morph into a heart-chomping werewolf at night? Is that it?

 And the call is coming from inside the house?

 

And you may need diapers?

 

But you still love me in your barbaric, wolfish way?

  Aw. Well, I guess that IS kind of sweet...

Will you stop killing things while I'm trying to talk to you.

 

Well, I guess the only really important thing is that we understand one another, right?

[crickets]

 

 That and house training, of course.

BAD WEREWOLF.

 

Thanks to Rebekah G., Meredith G., Carolyn, Brandy S., Chau, Laura E., Kerry M., Lynn B., Anne Q., & Anthony S. for reminding us to just stick with boxes of chocolates. 

Unless we're werewolves.

******

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

July 2017

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Feb. 26th, 2026 01:50 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios