dealing with reality

[jdotmi]

I was forced to come to a revelation this month. It was something that had been stewing in the back of my mind all last year, but I pushed it away because I was able to convince myself it wasn't the case. There was no real concrete way for me (in all my active laziness) to prove it was true, but there was just enough leeway for me to ignore it.

And I bet you that it isn't what you think it is.

This big revelation? It's pretty simple.

I'm well off.

Not what ya thought it would be, is it? ;-)

So, how did I come to this conclusion? Simple math, really. And the arrival of my W2s. I mean, with direct deposit it's really easy for me to ignore the amount of money going into and out of my account, but, now, having seen the raw end-of-year numbers, I have this strange sense that I am now a (marginally) successful adult and I can't sit here expecting someone else to help me fix my "problems" when the truth of the matter is the only "problem" I have is not wanting to actually be a successful adult.

I made $41,000 last year.

Chew on that for a moment.

Of course, the real problem is, I now know and accept the fact that I am well off, yet I am still sitting in what looks to be a huge pile of debt. Looking at it with my newly unclouded sight, however, I see that this "huge pile of debt" will be gone in practically no time. When I sit down and think about how much money I can actually save and not have any problems paying bills, I could have my credit card paid off completely in three months. My school bill can be paid off completely in two months. And this isn't even counting whatever tax refund I get.

Those are my only two debts that are keeping me back. My school loans are paid automatically each month and I have no problem leaving those as is. My car payment is something I am willing to live with simply because I need the transportation. But my credit card has been past maxed for four years. My school bill has been sent to a collection agency for the second time.

For the past 3 years, satyr_mi has been telling me to do something. Every time he told me, I knew it was a good idea. I just didn't want to do it. I didn't want to admit to myself that it would work.

I'm opening up a savings account. Either tomorrow or Saturday. My paychecks from Booth (approximately $200 per week) will be transferred into that account every Friday. That will be $1600 by the end of March. That is my entire school bill or more than half of my Visa bill. I have not yet done my taxes, but they will be deposited into the savings account. I predict that will be another $1,000 or so. I have extra kept out of all of my paychecks for taxes. $10 per paycheck for state and $10 per paycheck for federal. That's $780 extra dollars per year each.

Wow. That's the first time I've actually done the math on that. That's actually quite a bit extra. But that's good. I don't notice it's gone.

It actually feels really nice to know that my situation is about to improve dramatically. Not because of any change in my income or my bills, but because of a change in me. There are a lot of things that are going to change. I'm really excited by it.

Comments

[stashulah.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. It was especially difficult for me to accept the fact that I am a yuppie. I don't want to be a yuppie. I certainly try hard not to be a snob, or materialistic, etc. It just happened one day while I was out appreciating a nice glass of shiraz wearing something Kenneth Cole made, while discussing "current issues" Actually, my friend divian pointed it out... I think at some level it bothers me because I don't want to be decadent and corrupt, but my god, I love the heated seats in the new Saabs! It's the good ole guilt monster that gets me everytime. And the debt it causes too is miserable. I'm pretty good w/ money, and so cheap my pennies scream when they see me coming, but I'm good at dropping a ton of money on stuff, like wine, etc. I know it's totally different from your thing, but it's similar- Jesus, I'm middle class! Anyhoo...

[jdotmi.livejournal.com]

I'm turning into a yuppie wannabe. :-p As much as I hate stores like Eddie Bauer and what not, I'd love to be able to shop there and get my wardrobe from there.

Maybe in 80 pounds or so...

:-p